Adventures Of Atom Smith

Ahoy hoy!

I recently tossed some of my old history lectures up on YouTube. Be sure to watch it two or three hundred times, and tell all of your friends. I already have one subscriber. This means that my claims of being slightly famous on the Internet now carry some weight.

I recently was amusing at a party. We thought it was going to be an improv show, but it all went horribly wrong when we realised that the hostess had not hired us to perform structured short form improv games to entertain her guests, but had rather hired us to mingle with her guests, trying to liven up the party simply by making it seem she had more interesting friends. Heather blogged thereapon.

Later that very same night, Steve and I did the Bovine Bleu Cow Five show contest. We were performing as the Denver based improv comedy group known as the Denver Wigs, and we performed improvisational comedic theater games. We got second place, and won a video tape of the blue collar comedy tour. Yes, an actual tape, in VHS glory. Trevor/Robert took it home. He was there, too. We lost to a standup who was well prepared enough that she was basically reading her whole routine off the notes in her hand. But, she brought more friends than anybody else. Apparently, she considers Whole Foods to be the best icon of Colorado culture, and a source for comedy. Because, you know, grocery stores that have an organic section don’t exist anywhere else in the world. Outsider perspective comedy can be entertaining, but it can also be a dismal failure… She proved the latter with her bit on whole foods. The premise was that everybody in the audience was an asshat just because Whole Foods exists.

The Adventures of SkullFucker is coming along. A second episode is nearing completion. And, it’s way too fucking long, so it may be a two parter. The core outline for the first ten episodes exists. Expect episode one to be live in February.

The Internet just hunkles me some days. You see it there, a fine series of tubes, and then kersplow! All orderly and comprehensible, except that some parts of it defy common sense. So, I only actually have like two or three readers. Despite this, one of my posts has now generated comments from seven different people. I feel very slightly famous.

Neither of you probably remember this post:

http://www.forkforge.org/forkblog/?p=28

From back when I had talked to some production company in New York that wanted me to pay them to produce a pilot for a cooking program. They didn’t really have much interest in who I was or what i would actually do in the pilot. Consequently, I decided that they seemed slightly shady and blogged about it and considered the matter pretty much settled. I imagine that if I had spent all my money on making the pilot, it actually would have gotten made. I just wouldn’t have been able to sell it. They seemed a bit shady, but probably not stupid enough to do anything overtly illegal. (Like just stealing the money.) So, I didn’t feel any need to warn people about them or anything. I was just blogging about what had happened to me, like any self important public diarist might. But it’s the post that just won’t die. I just got another comment on it. I only have 18 actual comments in the whole history of my blog.

This is just about enough to convince me that I should use me incredibly crappy second hand webcam to shoot myself cooking dinner for a few nights, just so I can say I’ve done a cooking show and hope to get that post behind me. Of course, if I distribute a show about me cooking dinner, it’ll no longer be my private secret that I cook in my underpants…

I just find it weird that there is like a whole little community that considers that post important enough to comment on. They just hang out in that one ought-to-be-forgotten little spot on the Internet. It is a community that doesn’t even exist anywhere else.

Come one, come all to the Clean Comedy Contest. Seriously, everybody should come because part of my competition score comes from audience response, and I want to stack the deck as much as possible. Also, don’t laugh at anybody but me.

http://danmcgowan.com/CleanContest.html

5665 Olde Wadsworth, Arvada, CO. Show starts promptly at 7:00 pm. Well, maybe promptly. I don’t control these things.
Wednesday, the Festival Playhouse in Arvada. FREE! I’m up against Matt Baca, and I’ve seen some of his work before. He’ll probably kick my ass.

Also, I corresponded with the guys at thestream.tv — they used my cheesy animated open for the Weakly News, and I asked if they wanted me to do any other pieces, so they have asked me to do a couple of other little animated pieces that they can use.

It’s Tuesday afternoon, I just got home, and I left Sunday. Things have been busy.

NDA project – shooting has wrapped. I’m horribly sunburned. (When you start shooting at 3:00 am, sunblock may not occur to you as your very first concern…) We are all planning a TV watching party at some point when it is appropriate to do so.

Leaving town – 6:00 am flight tomorrow morning, I’ll be back July 9th. Don’t expect tons and tons from me until then.

48 Hour Film Festival – Starting to assemble a group. May be able to have everything in place by August to make a good project.

House was sold – The one I live in. Don’t know more yet. Have no idea what all this will wind up meaning. Lease expires July 31.

Standup – I am doing the “Comedy Works 2007 New Faces Contest” July 9th. Yes, the same day I return to the state. Yes, this is probably ill-advised. Aparently, I am allowed a guest list of 20, but nobody has actually mentioned comp tickets or discounts or anything. But, if you are one of the first 20 people to call Comedy Works and tell them you want to be on my guest list, you will be put onto it. Hopefully, you will feel forever proud of this accomplishment of having your name written down thereapon. It may serve no other purpose. It may also be that they are concerned about selling out, and my guest list is a block of 20 reserved tickets so that my friends are guaranteed to be able to reserve seats. Here is the information I have on it:

Please remember that you will receive a 20-person guest list that will be activated
TWO WEEKS prior to your appearance. Your guests must call the club during this
two-week period to make reservations. We will not take reservations prior to this
period. You may not make reservations for them; your guests must call the club.

Anyhow, it should be a fun night of standup, I’ll be competing against a bunch of other new guys, so at least one or two of us should fit your tastes in comedy. Here is the list of folks for the July 9th show:

July 9
Brady Quarterman
Curt Fletcher
Dave Westahl
Jim Hickox
Peter Cohen
Tim Aye
Vicki Edgar
Will Purdy
Will Rosecrans

Now, I just need to decide what the heck I am going to do for my slot… Oh, and if I am one of the top 3, I’ll get a spot in round two. I also have another gig scheduled for July as part of a Clean Comedy Competition. Check my Calendar’s performance schedule to know when all upcoming engagements will be taking place!

So, Wednesday… Well, I was a PA on Wednesday. Some of you have asked what exactly a PA does and what the heck it means… P.A. means Production Assistant, and is the title assigned to a person who assists a production in whatever way happens to be needed at a particular moment.

I was involved in helping set up Craft Services. (Setting up all the sandwiches and other food that are supplied to keep cast and crew from falling over.) I spent some time as a boom operator. (You know those guys who have really long shotgun microphones on poles.) I spent some time as a reparker. (“Reparker” isn’t a real word, but we were told that all the cars parked on the street past 2:00 am risked being towed in Downtown, so I had to run around at 1:30 in the morning finding cars parked on the street and moving them into a lot. One of the cars had a large dog in the back. I forget the exact breed, but of those kinds that people sometimes train to be mortally deadly fatal killer attack dogs. Thankfully, this one just tried to lick me a bit.)

At one point, I was manning a sound mixer, and monitoring levels. All these things are the work of a PA at various points. There were several other activities which are vastly more hilarious in which I was involved, but to specify them might be to reveal details about the production.

Friday’s shoot got postponed, which is all well and good, because I was tired enough as it was. Hell, I’m still a bit off.

I may or may not have learned an amazing secret at some point in the recent past. However, if I did, I still have insufficient information to truly gauge the significance.

So, that part I finally got? The one I couldn’t discuss? It got written out. So, I’m going to be a P.A. for twelve hours tonight from 6:00 am, until 6:00 pm. Now, normally I would have no problem with this schedule, except that the property manager came by the house yesterday and said the owner might be here today at 9:00 am. Yeah, a 9:00 am, and a 12 hour gig starting at 6:00 pm on the same day. Explain a good plan sleep schedule for last night that makes that work. ::grumble::

I called my dad and I asked, “hey, is it cool if I crash at your place tomorrow morning?”

Also, it seems my allergies have exploded. I mean, just crazy. Those of you who know me well know I am not much of a pill popper. Excepting cough drops, the last time I took medicine was the great headache of 2003. I took some aspirin for that one. Now, I’m on allergy meds and tylenol. This did not help my ability to get a good nights sleep for today’s estimated 23 hours of uptime. (Awake by 8:00 am to prep for 9:00 am, followed by shooting until 6:00 am plus travel and toothbrushing time for bed around 7:00 am…)

So, I saw the last performance Mall Mart the Musical last night at Curious Theatre Company. I had a good time. I’m not really much of one for musical theater, so if I liked it, you know it was at least a bit unusual. Of course, I was supposed to have somebody come with me, who bailed at the last minute, which was annoying. I also had a very chatty perfect stranger sitting next to me. I guess that made up for not having a friend to chat with during intermission. Also, I was sitting near the band, so I couldn’t hear some of the songs very well, especially during solos.

After the show, I was supposed to have been hanging out with the friend who had bailed on me at the last minute, so I just went home and was bored for a while. Started searching for some information on Mall Mart to see if it was going to be playing anywhere else, and apparently ran across the MySpace pages of a couple of the performers. One of whom, according to her blog, seemed to hate the writing of Mall Mart. Maybe it was actually a good thing that I was sitting to close to the musicians?

I want to see Mall Mart turned into a movie. I never see musical movies, so this is very odd for me.

The thing I can’t talk about thanks to NDA, I didn’t get. They never called me back, so I finally called the person I shouldn’t name to see what was up. Apparently, they can still use me in an auxilliary role I shouldn’t discuss for one day of shooting. So, for reasons I can’t discuss, I think I am still quite an emotion I’m not certain is covered by the NDA but I won’t specify.

Denver’s 48 hour film festival is coming up. The man known as The Markle sent me an email about it. Team registration starts tomorrow. Markle used to be in Mouth Off. He also emailed Dave, so we may have the start of a team. I also emailed Jon, the director of intercourse, PA, to see if he is interested. If he can bring a crew and Markle and I can assemble a team of in front of the camera type people, we may have an ueberteamforwinning. Feel free to contact for more informationses.

I hate flag-thumpers. You know, like radical Bible-thumpers, but they use patriotic themes to try and convince people that anybody who doesn’t shout that America is the best country in the world, and is by definition infallible, is a satan worshipping commie terrorist sympathizer poopie head.

I’ve been busy lately, so I haven’t updated, so I’ll post about a whole bunch of things in one hyper-mega-uberpost in multiple topics. Enjoy.

I’ll start with some positive press I recently recieved. It was for my last Freak Train, and you can read the Freak Train blog post at http://myspace.com/freaktraindenver and reading the blog post called “April’s Freak Train and 365!” If you aren’t a member, you may not be able to read the post, so I include the relevant excerpt here:

Slot 1: Saint Lazarus Points Out the Saints: Will Rosecrans signed up for this play that night and, asking for all the lights out, ducked behind a platform with his script and a flashlight and created a radio show of it. Brilliant.

yeah… Somebody thinks I’m brilliant. One down, something like five billion nine hundred ninety nine million and some odd to go…

Westminster Wife Show (Part Deux) — Last week, the guys from Westminster Wife Show called me back and I got to do another day of shooting with them, and also I got to know the crew a bit better than the day I was an extra. New Frontiers Media Group is apparently not just a front for TEN. They are said to be a substantial group with their fingers in all sorts of productions. Also, the day of shooting that I did last week involved no nudity. Lastly, the crew was actually quite good, and clearly was trying to do good work. So, it looks like my brief impression of the production that I got while I was an extra was quite biased and unfair, and I’m actually quite looking forward to seeing the final movie. (I may or may not share it with family…) I actually made a point of calling one of the guys on the crew today to inquire about getting some of the raw footage from what we shot so that I can use it in my demo reel. Hopefully, that can get pulled off.

The Markle was in a student production called “Gumshoe” recently. It was “premiering” at a student film festival at Front Range Community College, so I decided to check it out. Unfortunately, it was just about the first thing played, and I was running late so I missed it. However, it seemed I was extremely lucky because they were giving away DVD’s of the show, with “everything” on them. And “definitely Gumshoe is totally like on there.” So, I excitedly got the DVD home, and tried to find Gumshoe. The only little quirk is that the DVD only had six clips on it, and none of the was Gumshoe. So, I still haven’t seen it. If you see it pop up online, let me know. Also, I got to see like seven different skin cancer PSA’s. That sort of surprised me. I also saw the worst demo reel I have ever seen in my entire life. Seriously. I know you are supposed to be nice to student work, but I just really want to say that one of the demo reels I saw was absolutely the worst I have ever seen in my entire life. The other demo reel I remember was merely bad, but not so memorably so.

An email forward is going around lately declaring May 15th a day when you shouldn’t pump any gas. Maybe Atom Smith needs to have an episode about “Atom Smith and the concept of an inelastic fucking good?” Hey, let’s all buy gas the 14th or 16th and not reduce actual demand for gas and all by having (for example) a day of no driving. That’ll teach the bastard oil industry. You all realise that per-week sales figures won’t even show this “protest” right? ::sigh::

The comment period for Real-ID ended yesterday. You all send comments to DHS, right?

Intercourse, PA’s probable premiere is Thursday – directions and everything are a few posts down.

A friend of mine and I have an idea for a reality TV show. Need to figure out how one pitches such a thing.

Craigslist is filled with scammers. Tip for the day: If they have stuff available “In your area” but don’t know where you are, it’s a scam. Doubly so if they try to use poorly executed high pressure sales tactics, “If you are serious about this, you need to call me right away…”

I recently responded to a craigslist post which mentioned a company looking for ideas for a cooking show. I hadn’t mentioned it on the blog because even I can’t imagine there is much of an audience looking forward to reading every pointless little detail of every email I send.

I got a reply back from “Taste This Production, Inc.” about the email that I had sent, asking for me to call and discuss the possibility of making a TV show. So, I called, and then was told that the producer would send me an information packet to review. Since they hadn’t yet asked for money, I figured it might not be a scam.

I recieved the information packet. Apparently, they were not only vaguely interested in making something, but ready to proceed with making a pilot. Of course, they hadn’t seen a photo of me, hadn’t seen a demo tape, hadn’t seen a recipe, hadn’t seen my cooking, or anything else. Reading a little further in the information packet, and I found the clincher — they were really interested in making the pilot, but I would have to pay $5000 of the costs. ::sigh:: I had actually managed to convince myself they might be completely legit. Oh well. So, no cooking show for me any time soon. May have to try and talk to an aspiring director at CFS and try to actually shoot a pilot of a cooking show. You know, for not five thousand dollars.