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Enterfornment and SkullFucker and acting and education and history and improv and standup and television and writing17 Dec 2008 03:27 pm

Ahoy hoy!

I recently tossed some of my old history lectures up on YouTube. Be sure to watch it two or three hundred times, and tell all of your friends. I already have one subscriber. This means that my claims of being slightly famous on the Internet now carry some weight.

I recently was amusing at a party. We thought it was going to be an improv show, but it all went horribly wrong when we realised that the hostess had not hired us to perform structured short form improv games to entertain her guests, but had rather hired us to mingle with her guests, trying to liven up the party simply by making it seem she had more interesting friends. Heather blogged thereapon.

Later that very same night, Steve and I did the Bovine Bleu Cow Five show contest. We were performing as the Denver based improv comedy group known as the Denver Wigs, and we performed improvisational comedic theater games. We got second place, and won a video tape of the blue collar comedy tour. Yes, an actual tape, in VHS glory. Trevor/Robert took it home. He was there, too. We lost to a standup who was well prepared enough that she was basically reading her whole routine off the notes in her hand. But, she brought more friends than anybody else. Apparently, she considers Whole Foods to be the best icon of Colorado culture, and a source for comedy. Because, you know, grocery stores that have an organic section don’t exist anywhere else in the world. Outsider perspective comedy can be entertaining, but it can also be a dismal failure… She proved the latter with her bit on whole foods. The premise was that everybody in the audience was an asshat just because Whole Foods exists.

The Adventures of SkullFucker is coming along. A second episode is nearing completion. And, it’s way too fucking long, so it may be a two parter. The core outline for the first ten episodes exists. Expect episode one to be live in February.

acting and improv and television10 Jun 2007 11:34 am

So, I saw the last performance Mall Mart the Musical last night at Curious Theatre Company. I had a good time. I’m not really much of one for musical theater, so if I liked it, you know it was at least a bit unusual. Of course, I was supposed to have somebody come with me, who bailed at the last minute, which was annoying. I also had a very chatty perfect stranger sitting next to me. I guess that made up for not having a friend to chat with during intermission. Also, I was sitting near the band, so I couldn’t hear some of the songs very well, especially during solos.

After the show, I was supposed to have been hanging out with the friend who had bailed on me at the last minute, so I just went home and was bored for a while. Started searching for some information on Mall Mart to see if it was going to be playing anywhere else, and apparently ran across the MySpace pages of a couple of the performers. One of whom, according to her blog, seemed to hate the writing of Mall Mart. Maybe it was actually a good thing that I was sitting to close to the musicians?

I want to see Mall Mart turned into a movie. I never see musical movies, so this is very odd for me.

The thing I can’t talk about thanks to NDA, I didn’t get. They never called me back, so I finally called the person I shouldn’t name to see what was up. Apparently, they can still use me in an auxilliary role I shouldn’t discuss for one day of shooting. So, for reasons I can’t discuss, I think I am still quite an emotion I’m not certain is covered by the NDA but I won’t specify.

Denver’s 48 hour film festival is coming up. The man known as The Markle sent me an email about it. Team registration starts tomorrow. Markle used to be in Mouth Off. He also emailed Dave, so we may have the start of a team. I also emailed Jon, the director of intercourse, PA, to see if he is interested. If he can bring a crew and Markle and I can assemble a team of in front of the camera type people, we may have an ueberteamforwinning. Feel free to contact for more informationses.

I hate flag-thumpers. You know, like radical Bible-thumpers, but they use patriotic themes to try and convince people that anybody who doesn’t shout that America is the best country in the world, and is by definition infallible, is a satan worshipping commie terrorist sympathizer poopie head.

acting and improv and standup02 Jun 2007 12:55 pm

Ah, Freak Train… Last Monday was Memorial day, which naturally occurs on the last Monday of the month. This makes it the one holiday Freak Train is guaranteed to overlap with every year. So, full of barbecue, I headed to the Bug. So full, in fact, that I had no particular interest in performing. Alas, the life of a performer is no so simple as that. You see, when I got there, I was the 13th Freak. This is the one person arbitrarily selected by a number picked the previous month to perform without having bothered to sign up.

Now, generally speaking, the 13th Freak is given some guidance about what to perform, and some items to use and whatnot. Geree (the host) however decided to give me absolutely nothing, except to put me suddenly on the spot by telling me to ask for suggestions from the audience, since she knows I am a member of an improv troupe. They were “Lindsay Lohan,” “Florida,” and “spelunking.” The result was the single crudest performance of my life. The people who went before me opened the door for crude humor. It’s not like I was the first one to do any. I don’t specifically recall if the joke about getting a handjob from somebody who has shit in their hands came before or after my slot, but I do recall that the girl who talked about her mother getting a vibrator and how a vibrator should be washed before be used nasally came before me. However, I still feel that my routine was a particular kind of crude because it managed to be both sexually crude, and also make use of really terrible stereotypes. Yes, friends, I spent five minutes on stage as a Cuban immigrant to south Florida who spent his time spelunking in Lindsay Lohan’s fiddly bits, for the purpose of charting them because “you can fit four or five immigrants living in an apartment the size of a celebrity coochi.” If I ever try to re-use that character, for the love of coochi, please shoot me. Apparently, I was in a sour mood from not having wanted to perform in the first place.

About half the audience left after intermission, and the second half only had about half the usual number of performers. I guess it was an off-night all around. The guy after me (and the last before that intermission) rambled for five minutes about how he has a dog that is sometimes noisy. It was sort of the highlight of the night because he didn’t manage to offend anybody. At least not that anybody noticed. Nobody actually payed much attention to him, so we weren’t quite sure what he had been talking about.

Had an audition this morning. Wasn’t great. I was running late, because I couldn’t find the place, and I stumbled through my monologue. Also, it’s for a musical, and I don’t sing. Meh, should hear back within a few days. Also, heard about a project apparently related to “America’s Next Producer,” which is being made here in Denver. I’m going to try and schedule an audition. Wouldn’t surprise me if there is an NDA associated with that one, so I may wind up not mentioning it again on the off chance it goes well. :)

Finally uploaded the baby buffalo pictures to my picture gallery…

Uncategorized and acting and improv22 May 2007 03:52 pm

Haven’t updated in a good while…

Auditioned for another student movie last week. Got an email saying that they are redoing the auditions in June. Not callbacks, they are just redoing the auditions. That makes the first audition just an annoying waste of time.

Went to Wyoming, camped in Yellowstone. Took pictures. Installed Gallery so you can look at the pictures. I’ll be adding some more pictures over time. Ashley and John, with whom I was camping, both took pictures, but I haven’t gotten them yet. I’ll probably also add all the pictures currently in my facebook profile and pictures from my trip to Europe a while back once I make time for it.

Visit the gallery here!

Got an email from a fellow at the Bug Theatre about bringing improv to the Bug. Haven’t had a chance to talk to him about it, but we’ll see what happens. (That’s the theatre where they have Freak Train.)

I know Intercourse, PA still isn’t up. It will be.

acting and improv and metablogging10 Apr 2007 04:41 pm

Okay, so, haven’t blogged much recently.  Not too much going on, but a lot of little things.  So, a mad dash through random topic follows:

Mouth Off.  Still no word about when/how we hope to return from hiatus.

Amish Sex Movie.  It has been renamed from “Sowing The Seed” to “Intercourse, PA.”  I also had my first rehearsal last week.  It was a good time.  I got to meat my costar, who seems like a really nice guy, so I think that this will go fairly well.

Standup.  I have my first actual scheduled and confirmed standup gig coming up.  It’s on my handy dandy calendar at the right.  It’s April 19th, G-rated, probably about a five minute set.  I’m writing some new material.  Also standup related, there is a Mercury Café open mic night tomorrow.  I’ll probably check that out.  I may not perform, as I have never seen the open mic night there, and I’m not even sure how one signs up, which may need to be done in advance.  But, I may well perform at the Merc at some later date.

Radio.  Radio Avenue is doing a taping on Sunday, May 6th.  I may well try to do something for them, too.  From what I understand, they tend to sort of scramble at the last minute when preparing, in order to make sure the humor is as fresh as possible, especially for political jokes, etc.

Writing.  Work continues on Laser Kickboxing on Mars.  No, I’m not going to tell you the plot.  You would need like 87 million on disclosure agreements, a pound of flesh, and your grandfather would already have to know the plot before I could even consider explaining it to you.  But, active progress has resumed on writing this feature length screenplay.  It’s still at partial-first draft stage.

Atom Smith.  With the various other things going on, I deprioritised Atom Smith.  He isn’t forgotten, but he needs a bit more work before I go crazy and start releasing stuff.

Video Games.  Wow, I have started to play them enough that I think I’m wasting too much time.  On the other hand, Rise Of Legends is a wicked cool game.  It’s not targeted toward the hardcore strategist in the way that Rise Of Nations is, but the steampunk world of the Vinci is an amusing playground.  The biggest downside:  The voice acting is frankly terrible.  I understand that schedules are always too tight, and it’s hard to get everything done.  I’m not necessarily saying that the actors are incapable of voice acting.  I’m just saying that they didn’t do any of it on this project.  I think hearing this game has instilled a deathly fear in my for working on Atom Smith now.  I’ll be constantly thinking, “What if it turns out almost as bad as the voice work in Rise Of Legends!?”

acting and improv03 Apr 2007 08:24 pm

I was an extra for a movie today. It was interesting. I ran across a notice online which explained that it was a mockumentary. One of those comedic fake documentaries. The movie was the Westminster Wife Show. According to the notice:

*Must be 18
*Must be available Tuesday 4/3 afternoon/evening
*Must be comfortable with female nudity
*Must be reliable
*Must sign talent release forms

I like how they were careful to put the part about female nudity precisely in the center of the requirements in order to avoid makinmg a big deal about it. I think they may have come up with the one about being “reliable” (whatever that means for a gig where you have to show up one time at two in the afternoon…), solely so that the nudity line item was buried further in the middle of the list. Since they billed it as a mockumentary, I assumed that it would be mostly comedy, with the possibility of a nipple slip or something happening once or twice during the shooting.

The email address for the production was a single use email address at, rather than When I got there, I signed a release for “Colorado Satellite Broadcasting,” which was apparently the name of the production company. When I asked what sort of distribution was planned for the film, I was rather vaguely told that it was intended for an “On Demand” video service.

Now, the clever among you have already come to some sort of suspicion about the exact nature of this film just from what I’ve said so far. Kristen, on the other hand probably doesn’t want to know, and ought to just skip the rest of this post.

That’s right, I was an extra for a “saucy” Pay Per View film. And, by “film,” I mean cheaply made video production. Colorado Satellite Broadcasting is apparently some sort of shell/puppet organization which doesn’t have its own website. It has to do with New Frontiers Media Corporation. Of course, New Frontiers operates under a different trademark when they distribute their content. I quote from the New Frontiers website: “TEN, The Erotic Networks, is a leader in the electronic distribution of adult oriented entertainment.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. I wouldn’t have tried.

The Westminster Wife Show is a competition which features events like changing clothes in front of a camera, topless laundry sorting, and topless beer carrying. All in good fun, I suppose, but they had some of us record brief interviews about how much we liked the “Show withing the film” before we got far enough into the day to realize that there isn’t any plot. This should actually prove rather funny with people talking about how they feel that the show has done so much to help the community, immediately followed by a scene where a topless woman sprays beer all over herself. In order to ensure a minimization of boredom, I didn’t bother to maintain any character consistency in my several mini interviews. At one point I was a Westminster native, later a crazy Russian, and then an Irishman. There were many boobies, but I spent a bit of time plating pizza and helping the crew because the boobies were phenominally boring. Good luck to the editor.

I heard back from Madcap about Sunday’s audition. Got a nice form email saying that they had picked some other folks. Oh well. Not a terrible thing. The theater is fairly close to where I live, and it would pay. Even so, my improv style is a bit different from their’s. I don’t necessarily mean that in a bad way, but I’ve never been a big fan of loud stock music or props and they use both. Now I just need to find something to do that I would like even better.

I know this blog has several readers. Leave a comment, dammit. This blog is all about me trying to make myself feel important by getting other people to read about stuff that I do. Comments help with the feeling important part.

improv and radio01 Apr 2007 06:33 pm

I did an audition for Madcap Theater today.  It was fun, but i was somewhat surprised by how it went.  Each person only got to do one scene.  That’s not very typical for an improv audition.  When I auditioned for Mouth Off, and when we did our later round of auditions, there was always an effort to see each auditioner with a few people, and in a few scenes.  Oh well.  For the Madcap auditions, we were called into the theater in groups of four.  Each of us four got on stage, introduced ourselves briefly, and then we were put into pairs.  The other pair went before I and my partner went.  Their’s was the only scene I got to watch.  They were told to do a flat scene with the suggestion of dough nut.  They didn’t have very interesting or distinct characters.  The guys running the audition asked them to make a few changes to the scene to try and get some more character work, but there wasn’t much there.

My partner initially wanted to do the scene as a one word story. This was logical enough, trying to demonstrate knowledge on scene game structures, but I knew  that Madcap tends to focus on zany character work more than trying to impress folks with knowledge of structures, so I told him we should just do a regular scene.  When I saw that they were doing changes to the scene in front of us, I was thankful that he didn’t argue with me, because it would have been impossible with one word story.  So, I told him we should be a logger and a hippy environmentalist trying to save the forest.  This seemedlike the most obvious way to have distinct characters and conflict in a tree scene.  He was the logger and I was the hippy who showed up late and chained myself to a tree that had already been cut down.  He chopped off my foot.  My foot being chopped off was an act which I deemed “uncool, man.”

Since the one scene was all they saw, they have no idea whether the idea was mine or my partner’s.  Even assuming they liked it, I’m not sure how exactly they plan on picking who they like best.  I shouted loudest during the scene, when my foot was cut off, so I guess my zaniness level was higher than my partner’s.  I suppose that would be the prime differentiating factor.  Of course, I have no particular reason to suppose that they liked our scene best, as I only saw the one other scene.  Apparently, I’ll know by Tuesday, which means I’ll probably blog by Wednesday, if you want to know how it went.  Rick was there.  Rick was also at the Mouth Off audition I went to.  If arbitrary symbolism has any merit, then I guess I’ll be likely to beat out Rick again, and he is my lucky angel or something.  It also means he’ll probably be inspired to kill me.

After the audition was done, I went to the avenue theater, because the taping for Radio Avenue was happening.  Apparently, it broadcasts on Monday.  I read a few lines from a movie for a “stump the listeners” movie quotes quiz game.  I have officially made it a month since I stepped away from my day job.  I guess going from having no idea what to do, to being on local radio is acceptable progress for a month.

improv29 Mar 2007 10:11 pm

My improv troupe, Mouth Off, has decided to go back on Hiatus. We are currently investigating the possibility of finding a new venue. As soon as we have that sorted out, I’ll let you know when and where and how we will be back up. We won’t be performing this weekend.

Also, I had an audition today for a student short film project.  It is about sleeping with Amish women, and I got the part.  It looks like a fun concept.  I’ll update my schedule when I have more information.

Thirdly, I intend to start a weekly Atom Smith Radio Show podcast. It’ll be a while before I have an episode up, but I’ll try to get some supplemental stuff up before then.

improv25 Mar 2007 02:10 am

Well, look at me. I’m posting a second blog entry. Technically, it’s tomorrow already, but I haven’t been to sleep since I last posted, so I consider this to be two posts in one day. This is, naturally, a pace which is unlikely to be maintained.

The show was pretty good. It sort of ran out of steam by the end, though. The audience wasn’t especially crude, they just didn’t want to say anything at all. We do a structure called ‘hesitation’ to warm up the audience near the start of every show. In short, we play a scene but will occasionally pretend to be at a loss for words, and gesture invitingly for the audience to suggest a word to finish our sentence. The classic example is something along the lines of, “I was excited on Christmas morning because I opened up a box under the tree and I got a ummm… ummmm… ummm…” The audience gets to shout out whatever it is that the player got, and he states that it was exactly what he had been hoping for, and offers some token justification. I think that the most common answer seems to be Nuclear Reactor, but I haven’t bothered to really keep track. Anyhow, most audiences will get the concept pretty quickly. It may take one or two promptings for suggestions before they start to feel comfortable, but tonight’s audience consistently took an annoyingly long time to come up with anything. It really slows down the scene when you are prompting for a bunch of suggestions in the middle of dialog.
Since I have started by talking about the show, I guess I can give a basic summary of all the structures. Show summaries will be an easy enough way to fill this blog up with content every week. We started with Hesitation, which took place in a tattoo parlor, and was about the crazy fad of young men all getting tattoos of grilled cheese sandwiches, particularly on their bottom. When the tattoo artist suggested a nice mermaid tattoo, the potential clients compromised to get a tattoo of a mermaid either eating or grilling a grilled cheese sandwich.

The next scene was Forward Reverse, AKA the DVD or VCR game. A caller gets to tell the players to go backwards, forwards, switch to alternate language tracks, go in slow motion, etc. The suggestion for a task you actually like doing was “going fishing for crabs.” John and I were fishers, and The Markle was a crab. The Markle ate John. it was fun.

Third scene was “Open Replay,” in which we repeat a scene various times according to genre suggestions from the audience. The basic suggestion was washing your car with a vacuum. This is one of the slightly nonsensical suggestions we sometimes get which sparks a slightly absurd scene. Last week we got oil mining. So, I drove into the scene, got out of my car, and started vacuuming the hood. The Markle decided to help me wash my car by throwing a bucket of water on the car while I was vacuuming, which electrocuted me. Then, he came closer, and was electrocuted, and Michael stopped by to notice.

Then, we asked for some suggestions of movie, literature, and TV styles, and replayed the scene. First up was Shakespeare. I rode my horse onto the scene and started vacuuming it. After all this time, that was the first time I have ever gotten to do Shakespeare with this troupe, and I had almost nothing to say, and I spent most of the scene as a corpse. We used to do Shakespeare stuff all the time with Denver Improv Repertory Theatre / The Weiss Men. (That’s one troupe – it’s just gone by a lot of names.) Second was in the style of the TV show MASH. None of us have seen MASH in ages, but I flew my helicopter into the scene and started vacuuming it. Lastly, we had action movie. I crashed my car into the scene and started vacuuming it.

Fourth scene was interrogation. It took forever. It’s a guessing game where the ‘suspect’ is sent out of the room while the suggestions are taken, then he is interrogated until he is able to confess to the absurd crime of which he is accused. I was the suspect. The crime was that I flipped “the bird” to Barack Obama in Wall Mart while driving a golf cart. Golf cart took forever because the other guys apparently know golf a lot better than I do, so they were dropping references to things like a brand name of golf balls, but I didn’t get any of it.

Fifth structure was Slide Show. I’ll explain it later, but we all left the stage on the third slide, leaving our audience volunteer standing all alone on the stage with no idea what was happening. That was probably mean, but it was also funny as hell. I need to make a small wiki where I have definitions of all the structures so I don’t have to explain them here.

Sixth was our musical number Doo Run Run (Or Die.) I won, so I still haven’t had a chance to die by giving out promotional flyers for safety awareness week.

Seventh was Jeopardy. I tried a new character who is completely paranoid. “Possibly David.” It wasn’t anywhere near as well received as other popular Jeopardy characters “Chip Friendly,” or “Angus MacLeish.” I’m not certain if Possibly David is just a worse character, or it was the audience. I’ll have to try him again at some point. I’m always torn with trying a new character for Jeopardy because my stock characters are generally popular with the audience, but I hate to be so repetitive that I’m just doing the same two characters every other week.

Next up was Superhero. I played a superhero called Leprosy Man. It wasn’t that great. I tried to save the world from Bugs Man.

Lastly, we had Arms Expert. I was John’s arms. It was about Magic Koalas. It was going fine until we got to the audience Q and A section,a nd the audience just sort of awkwardly sat there and didn’t ask any questions.